Christmas Alert

SUBJECT:  Official Visit of Maj. General Claus 

1.  An official visit by MG Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at this
headquarters 25 December 1999. The following instructions will be in
effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit:

    a.  Not a creature will stir without official permission. This
	will include indigenous mice. Special stirring permits for
	necessary administrative actions will be obtained through normal
	command channels. Mice stirring permits will be obtained through
	the office of OSURG, Veterinary Services. 

    b.  Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior
	to 2200 hours, 24 December 1999. Uniform for the nap will be:
	Pajamas, cotton, light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose,
	camouflage; and Cap, camouflage w/ear flaps. Equipment will be
	drawn from CIF prior to 1900 hours, 24 December 1999. 

	c.   Personnel will utilize standard ration sugar plums for visions 
	to dance through their heads. This item will be drawn from the
	servicing dining facility. 

	d.    Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney
	with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid
	fire hazards caused by carelessly hung stockings. Unit Safety
	Officers will submit stocking hanging plans to this headquarters
	prior to 0800 hours, 24 December 1999, ATTN: AEAGA-S, for
	approval. 

    e.  At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will
	spring from their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate
	action will be taken to tear open the shutters and thrown open the
	window sashes. ODCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference LO No. 3,
	paragraph 6c, this headquarters, 2 February 1999, will be in effect 
	to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. Division chiefs
	will familiarize all personnel with procedures and are responsible
	for ensuring that no shutters are torn open nor window sashes
	thrown prior to start of official clatter.

    f.  Prior to 2400, 24 December 19968, all personnel will be
	assigned "Wondering Eye" stations. After shutters are thrown and
	sashes are torn, these stations will be manned. 

    g.  ODCSLOG will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and eight 
	(8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of MG Claus' driver who, in
	accordance with current directives and other applicable
	regulations, must have a valid SF 56 properly annotated by Driver
	Testing; be authorized rooftop parking and be able to shout "On
	Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on
	Donner and Blitzen." 

2.  MG Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units
without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during
ceremonies. Chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job
Order Request Form submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 19
December 1999, and issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or 
Turn-In.

3.  Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting "Merry Christmas to all 
and to all a good night."  This shout will be given on termination of
General Claus' visit.  Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of 
division chiefs.


                                              /S/
                                              CHRISTOPHER K. RINGLE
                                              Colonel, USA
                                              OIC, Special Services

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